TV Listings and Announcers

Thanks to Awful Announcing for these. I'll give my comments on the most popular ESPN Announcers & Friends.

Thursday, August 28th

Vanderbilt @ Miami- OH (ESPNU, 7:30pm)- Mike Gleason, John Congemi, Melissa Knowles-Mike Gleason does an okay job at what he does, I know he used to anchor ESPN+'s coverage of the Big 10 before ESPNU came around. I don't recall having heard John Congemi announce. Knowles has done a decent job reporting on that relatively poorly-produced NCAA show and her "spot starting" on ESPNU's football telecasts.

Troy @ Middle Tennessee (ESPN Plus, 7:30pm)- Sam Smith, Doug Graber-You know what sucks? I can't find this on my Dish Network package. The ESPN TV listings say that it's on ESPN Gameplan, but I haven't seen anything. Oh well, it doesn't really matter because I'm going to be at Kelly-Shorts Stadium for the opener!

Hofstra @ Connecticut (ESPN Plus, 7:30pm)- Bob Picozzi, Jim Donnan-You know what, I like Bob Picozzi. He sounds like an announcer and does a good job broadcasting Big East (mainly UConn) football games. His nasly, northeast tone should contrast well with Donnan's soothing Southern-drawl. Not really.

North Carolina State @ South Carolina (ESPN, 8pm)- Chris Fowler, Jesse Palmer, Craig James, Erin Andrews-Jesse Palmer got the gig filling in for Doug Flutie on ESPN Thursday night games. I saw in Pete Fiutak's "Cavalcade of Whimsy" and I agree that Palmer does come off as "yeah, I'm a football analyst for my side job, but I'm not totally devoted to it. I'm more interested in having sex with my beautiful girlfriends and such, but this is a fun activity nonetheless." Fowler comes off as a smug guy, but he's done an average job announcing these games (doesn't compare to Mike Tirico at all). Everybody's princecess, Erin Andrews, will be back on the sidelines.

Wake Forest @ Baylor (FSN, 8pm)- Bill Land, Gary Reasons, Emily Jones-Bill Land is solid and I can't say I'm all that familiar with Gary Reasons.

Oregon State @ Stanford (ESPN2, 9pm)- Ron Franklin, Ed Cunningham, Jack Arute-With that one notable "sweethart" gaffe, Ron Franklin has been demoted to doing night games on ESPN2. What a freakin' shame. Ed Cunningham is a Pac-10 guy so it only makes sense that he's on this game. I thought Brent Musberger and Jack Arute were "BFFs" when it came to announcing games? Huh. The friendship ring must have been discarded circa 2006.

Friday, August 29th

Temple @ Army (ESPN Classic, 7pm)- Eric Collins, Shaun King-I can't freaking stand Eric Collins. I can't do it. ESPN employs a few high-pitched 30-somethings who do not sound anything near football voices. Collins fits that mold. Shaun King on the other hand has been tolerable.

Southern Methodist @ Rice (ESPN, 8pm)- Joe Tessitore, Rod Gilmore-Not that I care about boxing, but Tessitore looks like ESPN's emergency go-to-guy. Rod Gilmore is alright. I don't know how many of you guys out there think this, but he was okay with Matich even though their 300/Gerard Butler-epic verbal battles were artificial. And the epic reference regarding Gerard Butler was based on the Phantom of the Opera performance.....I kid, but I don't care what anybody says, that's a good movie.

Saturday, August 30th

Virginia Tech @ East Carolina (ESPN, Noon)- Dave Pasch, Andre Ware-I don't like Dave Pasch, either. He falls under that Eric Collins umbrella. Rarely insightful and drones on and on and on and on. Andre Ware is decent, he at least provides a valuable perspective to the booth.

Syracuse @ Northwestern (ESPN2, Noon)- Pam Ward, Ray Bentley-Is Pam Ward a female or a 12 year old boy? By listening to the broadcast, it'd be tough to tell the difference. Ray Bentley, I love that you're a CMU guy at heart, but crawl into a hole somewhere and stick to children's books. Okay, that's a little harsh, but he's bad.

Bowling Green @ Pittsburgh (ESPNU, Noon)- Dave Armstrong, Larry Coker-Larry Coker was trying last season, but with one season under his belt, the sophomore announcer should have a feel for what he's doing. With his size and commanding voice, he should be able to use that experience to suit his God-given brodcasting skills. However, his development will be aided by the veteran Dave Armstrong, who provides senior leadership and stability to the announcing corps. All kidding aside, I really liked Armstrong last season with Gottfried, they made a pretty good pair in the booth.

USC @ Virginia (ABC, 3:30pm)- Brad Nessler, Bob Griese, Paul Maguire, Stacey Dales-As if you don't get enough of Nessler announcing the NCAA football franchise, ESPN insists on torturing you with Paul Maguire. Is there anybody worse at what they do than Paul Maguire is at announcing? Seriously? Whether he's munching on a turkey leg the day after Thanksgiving or coming up with some painful analogy, this guy is God-awful at just about everything he does. I've been over this before, but Griese and Nessler were looking for an excuse to get him out of the booth which is why he makes his ridiculously moronic jokes fieldside. Stacey Dales is pretty good looking too, I'll give her that one unlike Rachel Nichols or Erin Andrews.

Utah @ Michigan (ABC, 3:30pm)- Terry Gannon, David Norrie, Jeannine Edwards-Terry Gannon is another guy not cut out for this job. My ears bleed every time I listen to his awful broadcasts and, OH MY GOD, I just realized which game he's announcing: my regional game. Sh..-oot. Does anybody like David Norrie? I'm curious because I'm not a big fan of his necessarily.

Oklahoma State v. Washington State (FSN, 3:30pm)- Brian Davis, Tony Boselli, Dain Blanton-Boselli is mostly an NFL guy, but I'm interested in hearing him call a college game. I haven't heard any of his work to be honest, mainly because I don't get the NFL package on the Dish and the Lions are always stuck with J.C. Pearson.

Towson @ Navy (CBS College Sports, 3:30pm)- Tom Hart, Trev Alberts-Tom Hart's not bad, but I believe he was the guy that mixed up the "red" and "blue" zones for football, "or whatever it's called" according to him. He'll be working alongside Trev Alberts for the Navy game, but I don't know what the Network Formerly Known as CSTV is going to do with the remaining Navy broadcasts. I'm already missing Pete Medhurst doing the Navy games, his announcing combined with Scott Zolak was a major plus for the network. They screwed up on that.

Delaware @ Maryland (ESPNU, 3:45pm)- Doug Bell, Charles Arbuckle-I don't like Doug Bell. Not at all. Charles Arbuckle is okay, but he occasionaly slips up and makes no sense.

Appalachian State @ Louisiana State (ESPN, 5pm)- Sean McDonough, Chris Spielman, Rob Stone-Shoot me in the ears, please, Lord have mercy. Sean McDonough doesn't belong anywhere near a microphone. I'm sure he's great in person, but the nasly monotone doesn't cut it for me. He needs some sinus drainage or something. Nobody can match Chris Spielman's enthusiam for the game and I love it any time he's on. The problem is, it doesn't work with McDonough. Could you imagine Spielman and Gus Johnson on the same team? You couldn't match that as far as football enthusiasm is concerned.

Texas Christian @ New Mexico (Versus, 6pm)- Joe Beninati, Glenn Parker, Tim Neverett-I'm going to be keeping tabs on Beninati who is more notable for his Washington Capitals and ESPN lacrosse telecasts. Beninati likes to use obscure words to describe situations. Versus does an average job of their broadcasts and it isn't as bad as their hockey production.

Mississippi State @ Louisiana Tech (ESPN2, 6:45pm)- Bob Wischusen, Brock Huard-Oh my God, Bob Wischusen sets the standard for awful announcing. He's so terrible that it's beyond words. I haven't listened to Brock Huard so far, so that'll be interesting.

Northern Illinois @ Minnesota (BTN, 7pm)- Wayne Larrivee, Chris Martin, Ron Johnson-Most of the Big 10 Network's announcers are pretty obscure since it should be the 10 Viewers Network, but I digress. I had no idea who Wayne Larrivee was when he was hired by the channel last summer, but he was one of the Network's shining stars. Chris Martin is solid too.

Boston College v. Kent State (ESPNU, 7pm)- Clay Matvick, David Diaz-Infante-Again, Clay Matvick's voice is far from distinguishable so I can't even tell when I'm listening to him and when I'm not, but I've really liked Diaz-Infante over the last few seasons on ESPNU.

Michigan State @ California (ABC, 8pm)- Ron Franklin, Ed Cunningham, Heather Cox-Already covered.

Alabama v. Clemson (ABC, 8pm)- Brent Musburger, Kirk Herbstreit, Lisa Salters, Erin Andrews-The interesting thing here is the move to place Erin Andrews on Saturday night football games. Brent Musberger is the kind of guy that drinking games were invented for. Kirk Herbstreit knows his stuff for the most part and these guys have been a solid duo for the last couple seasons.

Illinois v. Missouri (ESPN, 8:30pm)- Mark Jones, Bob Davie, Todd Harris-Don't get me started here. Like Beninati, I'll keep tabs on the adjectives that Jones will throw out there, but is there not one school interesting in hiring Bob Davie? What, no takers? Crap.

Washington @ Oregon (FSN, 10pm)- Barry Tompkins, Petros Papadakis, Bill MacDonald-I like Tompkins, sorta. I mean, he's at least listenable, if that's a word. Petros, on the other hand, is pretty much unbearable. Maybe that's because the audio is horrible on those late night FSN broadcasts, but it sounds like you turn the sound up too much on those bad TVs and the noise fluctuates between really loud and inaudible.


Sunday, August 31st

Kentucky @ Louisville (ESPN2, 3:30pm)- Joe Tessitore, Rod Gilmore-Already covered.

Colorado State v. Colorado (FSN, 7:30pm)- Joel Meyers, Dave Lapham, Jim Knox-I like this crew. Lapham isn't that great when the team is "face-raping" the opponents, but, you know. I like listening to Joel Meyers because he sounds like the kind of guy that was born for this business. I don't know how you can be "underrated" as a sideline reporter, but Jim Knox does a swell job.

Monday, September 1st

Fresno State @ Rutgers (ESPN, 4pm)- Dave Pasch, Andre Ware, Rob Stone-Already covered.

Tennessee @ UCLA (ESPN, 8pm)- Mike Patrick, Todd Blackledge, Holly Rowe-I'm not a fan. Blackledge has been mediocre ever since his CBS days, but when he isn't stuffing his face with spaghetti or some weird Hungarian dish made of spare parts of domesticated animals in an attempt to celebrate society's gluttony (yeah, like I'm one to talk), he just doesn't wow me in any fashion as far as announcing is concerned. Mike Patrick on the other hand is atrocious in just about everything he does. Holly Rowe would be a decent reporter if she didn't throw a "Well" or "guys" or, most commonly, a combination of the two in every report.